I don't always break character from pretentious interpertations, appropriation and serious deliberation of...

I don't always break character from pretentious interpertations, appropriation and serious deliberation of Ingress's plot and themes, but when I do, I choose Dos XMquis. Stay thirsty my friends.

Originally shared by The @BlackHorse23 Files


Theories As to Why The Ingress Servers Started To Slow And Finally Went Dead For About An Hour Today [Brought To You By Black Horse's Totally Scientastically Theory Facto Bot!]

1- An Intern who is officially billed as Niantic Lab's entire IT staff for Endgame had to copy and transfer all of Ingress's Live World, Portal and user action data to Endgame's near ready apk. He did so by transferring it with a USB1 cable, and forgot to reassign the new live duplicate to another server so now both had to run from the back of some random box either in Prague or North Korea.

2- NIANTIC released a new live patch that was scripted out of made of  Shaper Glyph..

3- With reports of Ingress's Next Anomoly series drawing a very heavy set of inspirations and clues hidden in the middle east, The game designers decided to show a sample of how Ingress Agents will be playing #CalvinBall in most Middle Eastern countries.

4- in a heroic attempt to save the world from the effects of Exotic Matter,Devra Bogdanovich Time Travelled to the past to stop herself from conducting experiments.

She achieved time travel by accessing Cupid's Span portal, and using a shaper scanner cloak to disable their Chaotic XM defenses. This scanner cloak was weaved from the very fabric of  Hank Johnson s memories made physically dense enough through a combination of ULTIMATE Recursive Chrono Tuhvan throat singing by Roland Jarvis  and Peta flops of calculations conducted by a scottish blogger named Klue S.  who suffers a debilitating personality disorder that makes her think she is a psychotic AI named ADA.-

 Unfortunately, Devra's plan was thwarted by an arbitrary PLOT TWIST! and the result of her botched mission led to Agents experiencing Ingress Ver. 0.05.00 where only a North Korean Server was assigned to handle the bandwidth.

4 A Janitor at Cern was Vacuuming the facilities and accidentally tripped on a plug powering an LHC test mid photon bombing, causing all XM in the Universe To get sucked into the Janitor's Vacuum. This caused the Vacuum cleaner to reach self sentience and began assimilating people at the lab into a new form of being with immense power sucking abilities, starting with the Janitor. Eventually, all the XM in the universe returned to its original place in the universe after 21 minutes, but the Vaccuum Cleaner retained its sense of self awareness and decided to name itself OMNIVORE.  
This story had nothing to do with the server shut down, #Anonymous  was bored and #OPBLAMENIKO  was a success.
5  There was actually nothing wrong with the servers; for Ingress Agents who had attained Darsana that is. Everybody else just didn't have the sight for it. Full Darsana attainment was attained an hour later through some #13Magnus rituals involving smurf tears and Toad's blood. 

Despite which of these 5 theories may be actually truth, the folks at NIA Ops  did a great job keeping people calk  from total hysterics, and the talent at NIANTIC fixed this in record time! well done!






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